All She Wants for Christmas is a Tank, Girl…
Tank Girl. Irreverent, foul-mouthed, fierce. And very, very cold……..
Snow whistled past the old wooden hut, countless tiny flakes flashing momentarily in the glow of a dingy window. A loud crash was followed by some muffled scraping. Suddenly the door slammed open, causing a cascade of snow to come shuddering down over a scantily clad figure.
The wind paused only for a moment, feigning shock. What appeared to be a woman wearing a helmet stumbled forward, shaking her head so violently to remove the snow that she collapsed face first into a drift.
“%##&^**%&^%$#!!!!! Booga??? Booga!! Where the *F$&^% are you?!?!”
The wind screamed with laughter as she swayed to her feet. “%#@*ing-A but it’s c-c-cold… where is that damn mutant of a kanga??!”
And that’s when memory returned.
Drinking them all under the table… no problem.
Giving the pushy bastard what he deserved… all in a night’s work.
Stepping outside the bar to discover a snow drift has buried the tank you don’t quite remember parking?
Not. Exactly. Expected.
She began brushing the snow off her already shivering body, colorful grumbles punctuating each stroke. “So th-th-this is why those A-*&%$-s were sniggering when I t-t-took this piece of @&^%$# assignment up in the mountains. I’m not lettin’ those rats get away with it!! And since when does it snow this m-m-much in the F&^%-ing Australian%@*$-ing outback??!!”
Behind her, a sound not unlike an old iron door hinge being pried open suddenly cut through the howling wind. She turned and came face to face with a white furry thing the size of a… bear…
“Oh yeah? You think you can mess with me? I’m in the perfect mood for some senseless violence you mangy *&%$-ing furball… and your hide is lookin mighty warm right about now…” A knife suddenly flashed into view. “Bring it, you %&^%$#!!”
The bear took an uncertain step backwards (jet lag from its transatlantic flight to the unusually snowy mountains of Australia having already muddled its little bear brain), sizing up the nigh-naked fury in front of him.
“Yeah, I *&%$-ing thought so. Too much work anyway. I’d rather find my %&^%$# t-t-tank where I can light a snort and have some hot… ohhh Booga… why did you have to choose this weekend to leave…….”
“In 2033, justice rides a tank and wears lip gloss!”
For those of you who aren’t already acquainted, Tank Girl is a British comic created by Alan Martin and Jamie Hewlett, featuring a punk rock badass chick who lives in a tank in post-apolcalypse Australia. She’s constantly ending up in all sorts of scrapes and misadventures, but somehow she always manages to seduce, shoot, or cuss her way out of anything life throws at her.
Says Pete, from my favorite Tank Girl fan site, “Tank Girl is the ultimate woman because she’s unexpected, unpredictable and surprisingly full of passion. She loves Booga (her mutant kangaroo boyfriend) and will fight to the death for him. Although she appears to be a hot-headed, drunken warrior of the outback, over the course of a few stories, we see she actually has passion and reason behind her ways, and isn’t afraid to champion her goals (even though she may be devoid of any moral judgement).”
No surprise, Tank Girl has become a bit of a cultural icon, representing the fiercely indomitable feminine spirit. She’s likewise inspired all sorts of creative followers — ranging from artist Brian Viveros, to Second Life designer and creator Fade Dana. Just take a look at the first photo at the beginning of this story: Brian’s painting is on the left; Bobby’s photo of me wearing my Fade Dana helmet and bandaids is on the right. Coincidence? I think not.
Tank Girl Goes Neko in Second Life
Here’s how to get a little Tank Girl action of your own in Second Life…
| Poses | Del May: Becoming Extinct (in portrait photo at the top); Piano Shoulders (in the first blue photo); Beloved (in the last blue photo… sad face done with a separate face animation)
| Helmet | Hat Mechanik by Fade Dana: Last Rites Helmets, female (male helmet comes with cigarettes instead of a rose on the helmet); this package includes the helmet, separate goggles, a camo-textured and buckled neck brace collar, black leather and chain arm straps, and a sculpty crossed bandaid for the bridge of your nose.
| Hair | Urban Dare: Megan (a little hidden under my helmet; this is a nice short shag with an angular shape)
| Neko Ears | Sangre Noir (formerly Subtle Submissions): Roses and Thorns Set (includes the matching tail for one very low price!)
| Runny Mascara Tattoo | YaYo: Cry Baby Running Mascara Face Tattoo (link takes you to SL Marketplace)
| Cheek Bandaids | Hat Mechanik by Fade Dana: Bandaids – this package includes multiple sculpted bandaids in three shapes: strips, cross-squares, and curved to fit the bridge of your nose. All are click to color change (I used the new viewer’s “add” feature to get two bandaids added and edited into place while still keeping my Neko ears on.)
| Cigarette | HI / Hall Igaly Design: Stub – FREE!
| Barbed Wire Collar | BodyFire (the couture division of Ephemeral): Barbed Wire Choker, female (click to change metal color/texture)
| Bullets Necklace | Vii: Black Bullet Necklace
| Cross Necklace | Mandala: Takayama Necklace in Brown, C (I wore the cross only). Excellent alternative: Fusion: Cord Cross Set (this is also a three part necklace, with one part featuring a cross on a heavier chain, and the package includes a matching arm strap.
| Bloody Scar | Dead Carrot by Lucie Genira: Who Did Stitch on Me? (store unavailable during remodel)
| Bra | The Plastik: Valerian-Raffle (with ruffle) in camo
| Camo Vest | GB / Gabriel: Down Vest in Camoflage
| Bloody Bandage, R upper arm | Hat Mechanik by Fade Dana: Last Rites Armband, part of the “Last Rites” Helmet package described above
| Black Barbed Wire Arm Warmer, R lower arm | Urban District (formerly NekoVampi) by Sinus Carter: Wiring Armbands
| Knife Strap, L upper arm | Feeb’s / Phoebe: Arm Dagger Bands, small (with a resize menu)
| Leather straps and chains with skull, L forearm | KF / KissFish by Twinky Lupindo: Chaos Arm Strap (store not found in SL; awaiting reply from owner)
| Studded straps and chains with spider, L wrist and hand | LouLou&Co: Full Metal Jacket bracelet and hand attachment
| Neko Tail | HBW / Hanabi Works: Rocket Tail Sig Sig Sputnic in black (re-attached to stomach)
| Belt, Leg Straps, Leg Weapons, Pants, and Knee Armor | Dirty Lynx: all part of the “Sayomi” outfit — an incredible package with many more pieces than you see here, including an excellently designed heavy jacket, torn tank top, palestine scarf, and combat boots, PLUS a shape, skin, hair, and prim eyes! (Note: I edited the jeans to make them crop length instead of full length). Just want the pants/belt/leg weapons? No problem… they’re sold separately on the first floor of the store “Sayomi Combat Shorts.”
| Bloody Knee Wrap | LPP / Le Petit Prince: Real Bandage (edited to move it down to my knee, enlarge and rotate a bit to fit)
| Boots | Duh: Black Leather Work Boots (an amazing, size-scripted boot for ONLY $25L… located on the upper 2nd level of the store)
Tank Girl and all related characters (c) 2010 Alan Martin and Jamie Hewlett.
Learn More About Tank Girl:
Official Site: http://www.tank-girl.com/blog.php/
Wiki Page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tank_Girl
My Favorite Fan Site: http://www.tankgirl.info/tankgirl/index2.html
Another Fan Site: http://www.twisted.org.uk/tg/
Watch Excerpts From the Tank Girl Movie in 1995:
Special Tanky to Bobby Yoshikawa for his incredible photography, as always <3***
© Stacia Villota / Virtual Neko in Second Life – 2010